I Have Points to Make, Damnit!

Mother’s Day Without My Mother – Keeping Her Memories Alive

It’s been a year and a half now since I lost my mom suddenly and without any warning.  She was my heart, my soul, my mentor and my child in so many ways.

She showed me how to love unapologetically, how to appreciate art, how to be street smart, how to just be.
In every sense of the word my mother was just pure emotion.  When she loved, she REALLY loved, and when she was hurt she was devastated.

I miss her now and every single day. There’s not a day that goes by that I do not think about her and with every fiber of my being I take heart in knowing that she provided me the lessons I needed in life to be strong and to be cautious and to love.

I lead with my heart the way I realize she did.

I can’t say she’s in a better place because I don’t believe that, however she is in a better place in my memories and in my heart.

I think back on the times we shared and become overwhelmed with either guilt or with gladness that I was filled with bitterness and/or joy respectively.

She hurt me.  And I hurt her. But never did I ever doubt that we loved each other unabashedly.

And so on this Mother’s Day 2015; 1 year and 7 months later, the pain is stings just as much as the day I lost her.
That being said, I found solace in channeling my energy to creating this video for her. It brought me closer to her and despite not having very many videos to choose from (which made it extremely difficult since she refused to be in front of the camera) I made something that I can say describes exactly how I feel.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom.  I know you’d be so proud of me for this and for what I do each and every day having you as my guide.

How to Create a Positive Attitude BY Geoffrey James

A positive attitude–optimism, expectancy, and enthusiasm–makes everything in business easier. A positive attitude boosts you up when you’re down and supercharges you when you’re already “on a roll.”

Here’s how to cultivate a positive attitude, regardless of what’s happening at work, based upon a conversation with Jeff Keller, author of the bestseller Attitude Is Everything:

1. Remember that YOU control your attitude.

Attitude does not emerge from what happens to you, but instead from how you decide to interpret what happens to you.

Take, for example, receiving the unexpected gift of an old automobile. One person might think: “It’s a piece of junk!” a second might think: “It’s cheap transportation,” and a third might think: “It’s a real classic!”

In each case, the person is deciding how to interpret the event and therefore controlling how he or she feels about it (i.e. attitude).

2. Adopt beliefs that frame events in a positive way.

Your beliefs and rules about life and work determine how you interpret events and therefore your attitude. Decide to adopt “strong” beliefs that create a good attitude rather than beliefs that create a bad attitude. To use sales as an example:

  • Situation: The first sales call of the day goes poorly.
  • Weak: A lousy first call means that I’m off my game and today will suck.
  • Strong: Every sales call is different, so the next will probably be better.
  • Situation: A customer reduces the amount of an order at the last minute!
  • Weak: Customers who change orders can’t be trusted.
  • Strong: Customers who change orders are more likely to be satisfied!
  • Situation: A big sales win comes seemingly “out of nowhere.”
  • Weak: Even a blind pig finds an acorn once in a while.
  • Strong: You never know when something wonderful will happen!

3. Create a “library” of positive thoughts.

Spend at least 15 minutes every morning to read, view, or listen to something inspirational or motivational. If you do this regularly, you’ll have those thoughts and feelings ready at hand (or rather, ready to mind) when events don’t go exactly the way you’d prefer.

4. Avoid angry or negative media.

Unfortunately, the media is full of hateful people who make money by goading listeners to be paranoid, unhappy, and frightened. The resulting flood of negativity doesn’t just destroy your ability to maintain a positive attitude; it actively inserts you into a state of misery, pique, and umbrage. Rather than suck up the spew, limit your “informational” media consumption to business and industry news.

5. Ignore whiners and complainers.

Whiners and complainers see the world through crap-colored glasses. They’d rather talk about what’s irreparably wrong, rather than make things better. More importantly, complainers can’t bear to see somebody else happy and satisfied.

If you tell a complainer about a success that you’ve experienced, they’ll congratulate them, but their words ring hollow. You can sense they’d just as soon you told them about what’s making you miserable. What a drag (figuratively and literally)!

6. Use a more positive vocabulary.

I’ve written about this before, but the point is worth making again. The words that come out of your mouth aren’t just a reflection of what’s in your brain–they’re programming your brain how to think. Therefore, if you want to have a positive attitude, your vocabulary must be consistently positive. Therefore:

  • Stop using negative phrases such as “I can’t,” “It’s impossible,” or “This won’t work.” These statements program you for negative results.
  • Whenever anyone asks “How are you?” rather than “Hangin’ in there,” or “Okay, I guess…” respond with “Terrific!” or “Never felt better!” And mean it.
  • When you’re feeling angry or upset, substitute neutral words for emotionally loaded ones. Rather than saying “I’m enraged!” say “I’m a bit annoyed…”

see full article here: http://ift.tt/Uo6Srr

DAMIAN-DAZZ-AND-STEVE-LOK-HOW-ABOUT-WE

My 2 Year Anniversary Reflection

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I’m not an expert on relationships, but I have the privilege of being in one now that has made me learn so much about them, and more than that, about myself.

Today we celebrate our two year anniversary and are going out to WD50 tonight for dinner…  Steve knows how much I admire molecular gastronomy, and he himself does as well.  It got me thinking about what we do for each other that makes the other happy.  But that’s not the real reason we’re in a relationship. As it turns out, it’s not about making each other happy, or any other kind of imagined perfection. It’s about helping that person to be everything they truly are.

201614_10151256809981474_1751584258_o1. Hold each other accountable. Nothing compares with someone being your accountability partner. They hold you to a standard that you set for yourself and they’re there assisting you in reaching your goals.

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2. Surrender.
Trust in your partner’s separate journey, even when what they’re doing makes little sense to you.

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3. To be sure, your role isn’t to make your partner happy.
Your role is to give your partner enough space to find their own happiness — when you’re together, and when you’re apart. Be 100% honest.
When you give yourself permission to be who you are, you are then creating that space for them to be who they are.

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4. Get into fights. It’s healthy.
Realize that you are on the same team. The fight is actually about the misunderstanding — not each other. Communicate.

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5. Accept your attraction to others. It’s inevitable.
It’s inevitable. We are human. It’s when you communicate, and are clear about it that you two can be in a trusting space.

6. You’ve still got work to do.
Your partner is that seeing eye dog, leading you to where still need to adjust in life. Those feelings of jealousy, resentment and hurt? They’re showing you all the places in you that need your own healing.

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7. Remember you are a reflection.
Reflect back all the beauty that lives in your partner. Sometimes they can forget how much beauty they possess.

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8. Savor. Enjoy.
Seriously. You are never going to figure it all out, so just take the ride.

I love you hunny.  With all my heart.

you had me at lesbian the fosters

TV’s First Gay Wedding Since DOMA (& Me Featured On Buzzfeed)

You had me at lesbian

Meet the fictional characters Stef Foster and Lena Adams of “The Fosters”—TV’s first gay characters to say “I do” since the Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act who just so happened to be filming the wedding, the day DOMA was struck down.

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Stef and Lena’s is certainly not the first same-sex marriage on television ever. Although NBC’s “Friends” received a lot of kudos for its lesbian wedding in 1996, two other sitcoms had already broken that ground. The first show to feature a gay wedding was Fox’s “Roc” which showed a ceremony between two men; “Roseanne” followed suit in 1995.

Also, check out some famous Vine reactions to the overturning of DOMA  (including my own which was featured) on Buzzfeed

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Steve Grand All-American Boy Damian Dazz

Be My American Boy…

It’s time to whip out those once popular cowboy hats you bought just to wear once about 4 years ago my fellow gays!!! It has finally happened. Country goes gay, albeit through an unknown and unsigned artist. It was inevitable.

Steve Grand All-American Boy Damian DazzAnd what a better way to break that “ruff-n-tuff” hetero stigma than with this purely “All-American” single country single “All-American Boy” sung by the very sexy Steve Grand.  He claims that he doesn’t  have a manager or a label or any sort of funding other than the tip money he makes playing piano downtown at The Joynt in Chicago, and also, ironically to some, in the churches on Sunday morning…

Not only has this video taken the internet world by storm: 453,781 views since this post was published, but the very essence of the song and artist have great potential to be radio-friendly and connect with a rather large audience.  How many gays can you already hear chanting “I’ll be your American Boy” while slow-dancing with their partner??

Steve Grand All-American Boy Damian DazzSteve displays all the characteristics of having true star potential in this video. His looks, his charisma, and his acting ability shine. And more importantly the heavy content of the song dealing with issues of rejection and unrequited love resonate with an already growing fanbase. “All-American Boy” takes inspiration from “You & I” from Lady Gaga and even contains some Jonny Lang “blues-y” sounds up in there!   It is pure country-pop and radios would be silly not to play it.

Steve Grand All-American Boy Damian Dazz“Just the hundreds of people who have said, ‘Your story is my story. Thank you for this,’ is enough for me.” Steve says. “I could die a happy man right now”.

Let’s all hope he doesn’t because I, for one, am darn sure I want to see and hear more from this sexy beast of a country star!

He’s even featured on Huff Post!  Check out the article here.

Find him on Facebook

Follow him on Twitter

and be SURE to download his song and donate to the cause!  This kid needs to eat!!

UPDATE:   Steve Grand makes his televison debut!!   Check it out here:

WE LOVE YOU MISS HANNIGAN!!

In honor of the revival of “Annie” on broadway and the casting of Jane Lynch as Miss Hannigan, I can’t help but want to share my adoration for the original Miss Hannigan, the incomparable Carol Burnett.

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Keep in mind, I am in no way comparing these two amazing women in filling the role of the famously lush orphanage keeper. I am merely compelled to remind you of the genius that is Carol’s performance that was captured in the film.

I have no doubts that Jane will be simply amazing!  I even just took a listen to tonights’ episode’s recording of Little Girls as performed by none other than her character “Sue Sylvester”. And it completely makes sense to her role and to the marketing of her chaarcter on Broadway.

take a listen:

Some directors may see this role as an evil villain. But something was sparked when Carol stepped into the shoes of Miss Hannigan. She made you love to hate her. Perhaps it’s the performance, perhaps it’s the writing or a combination of both.  Whatever it is I’m sure you can agree that it’s fresh, it’s sassy, it lingers and Carol did amazing at it, and I’m sure Jane will do the same.

One thing we can all say for the women that play this role the right way is that,

WE LOVE YOU MISS HANNIGAN!!

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By the way here is some foreshadowing if I have ever seen one: Jane and Carol singing the duet , “Ohio” on Glee: